May 4, 2010 by  
Filed under Overcoming Fear

I was thinking recently about a project I needed  to complete some time ago and I really wanted to get it “right.”  I also wanted to get it done FAST because I realized I had been procrastinating. Too bad I didn’t also realize that it wasn’t the Voice of Love I was hearing in my head . . . I had unwittingly tuned my mind into Radio E G O (Edging God Out).

However, in an effort to get moving, I remembered a tip I had read from Laura West of The Center For Joyful Business – about getting out of the house when you are feeling stuck. Since I was aware part of the issue was not feeling very good about myself, I wanted to choose somewhere I could reconnect with my true Divine Spirit. So I headed to one of my fave places, the lobby bar of the Ritz-Carlton Lake Las Vegas with an Abraham CD playing in the car for the 25 minute ride.

It being early and mid-week I had my pick of tables and I chose one right by the window with a stellar view of the mountains, lake and gardens. I settled in and got to work.

Except for one thing.

The “work” part.

Not happening.

I fiddled with my new phone, checking Twitter to see if I had any tweets from my peeps. No tweets and no inspiration either. (SIDENOTE: you DO know about Twitter don’t you? If not check it out at and follow me – I’m @SpiritCoach.)

So I prayed. I asked for clarity, focus and direction for the Highest Good of All Concerned. I wrote a little but still no major flow was happening. I was grateful for the distraction when a new friend called.

Although we had never spoken on the phone before, we got along famously and an hour later, I was inspired, relaxed and finished the project easily and confidently. I thought GREAT – I’m done, I feel good, no worries, I’ll send it off as soon as I get home.


Somehow, I managed to continue distracting myself until I finally realized that once again, F E A R (False Evidence Appearing Real) had sneeked back in the door along with another too familiar acquaintance – Below The Basement Self-Esteem. Both were playing on the media player of my mind on a non-stop loop with the volume turned all the way up! AGAIN!

I went to sleep setting my intention to work through this and change my thoughts. During the night I woke up and realized I had just DREAMED I hit my first BIG business milestone. IN THE DREAM I remember thinking WOW — this is fantastic — and (still in the dream) thinking isn’t it ALSO INTERESTING how much better I feel about myself NOW (that I had achieved the “big” success). In that moment of recognition – I was able to RE-CONNECT CONSCIOUSLY with the FEELING of being proud and excited (which had been rather desperately eluding me).

At first — when I realized it was “only” a dream — I started to get bummed – until I realized — I HAVE already achieved the “big” milestone — it just hasn’t MANIFESTED in this time and space reality yet! Well THAT realization really helped change my emotional “charge” around the situation and I fell back asleep.

Unfortunately when I woke up, I still wasn’t feeling motivated enough to complete the damn project! So, in an effort to re-charge and re-new the successful feeling, I purposefully reviewed my files for encouraging words from the assortment of quotes/prayers I collect. I found the following from Neale Donald Walsch:


Now THAT — coupled with my memory of the dream — really gave me the courage I needed to get the project finished once and for all.

I went back and CAREFULLY re-read the instructional emails about the project and realized that I had read the emails through the eyes of fear. Now, through the eyes of Faith, I discovered that I had missed two key components in the instructions. One of them was an MP3 that COMPLETELY EXPLAINED the project and answered the many questions that I had running through my head! Not only THAT but the responses given were the same ones I had INSTINCTIVELY come up with ON MY OWN in my efforts to complete the task.

I decided to take that as a “God-sign” and a little while later that puppy was out the door and off my To-Do list!

The experience contained powerful lessons for me:

First – the fear had manifested in many ways – including my mistaken belief that I was “running out of time” or “on a tight deadline.” My mentor had not given me a deadline – it was all made up in my own mind. There is never any hurry in God’s time anway! If I had taken the time to CAREFULLY read the instructional emails – I would have realized there were TWO audios, listened to them in sequence and most likely saved myself a good deal of hassle!

Second – there is no such thing as getting it “right” or “losing” in the eyes of a loving God. As Neale Donald Walsch so elegantly stated: “. . . losing is not an act of God, it is a thought in the mind of humans.” WHAT I wrote for the project, wasn’t nearly as important as WRITING it period.

Third – and probably most critical for me and possibly for you as well – low self esteem is ALSO a man-made proposition. I believe we are all Glorious Children of a Loving Mother/Father God, that we were declared very precious and valuable at birth, and that He NEVER changes his mind!

And here’s the last little bit of irony for you – after rushing, struggling and generally making myself miserable about the project – when I finally emailed it off – I got an auto-response back stating that my mentor’s scheduling assistant was on vacation for 2 weeks and my mentor was away from the office as well for several days!

But now I’m fine with that. Now I know it’s all in Divine Order and Right Timing.

And ALL IS WELL indeed.


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