This morning, when I first began to awaken from a nice deep sleep (which is rare for me) my first thought was just how tired I was! The bed felt quite cozy and I was definitely NOT ready to get up yet!
Then the mind-chatter began along the lines of:
“Well you BETTER get up because you have that HUGE to do list!”
“How are you EVER going to get all the stuff done on that list feeling this way?”
“Come on girl – just get on with it – you’ve done it before – you know how!”
There was another parallel line of chatter that went along THESE lines:
“Well you could just stay in bed and get the rest you seem to need.”
“Some of that stuff isn’t that important anyway – it can wait.”
“Why don’t you do your meditations and prayers and then see how you feel?”
And there we were – another day at the races! EGO & Critical Parent vs. HIGHER SELF, a disconcerting morning ritual I have allowed to become a pattern. A pattern I decided to RELEASE and CHANGE in 2011. Because it is more about self-hate then it is about self-love and frankly – I’m just plain tired of the self-loathing! Finally!!
So then I begun THIS conversation with myself – this time including God, my guides, angels, and The Universe . . .
“How can I make my life easy and joyful?”
“Please show me how to make my life easy and joyful?”
“Thank you for showing me how to allow my life to be easy and joyful.”
WHAT A CONCEPT eh? It IS how our lives are meant to be you know! I choose to believe that and so now I am having the opportunity to discover where my beliefs are in conflict AND to choose again!!
I was planning on staying in bed a bit longer when I heard the Skype chirp from my office computer and realized it was probably my dear friend checking in before she was off to the hospital to pick up her partner from a pretty serious procedure he was having done. So I dis-engaged from the snuggly covers and headed across the hall to my home office and checked in with her.
After she signed off, I heard the mind chatter begin AGAIN!
“Should we go back to bed?”
– YES! YES! YES! a portion of the crowd roared – including the physical me!
“Should we get dressed and begin the day?”
– Mixed reviews to that – some said YES, come on, let’s get on with it – others were more inclined to head back under the covers, and a few offered up various items on my To-Do list for consideration!
That conversation was being held as I stood in front of my dresser/makeup/jewelry cabinet.
I looked down at it and THIS conversation began:
The critical voice started shouting . . . .
“Look at that mess! You’ve been meaning to clear that up for WEEKS now!” Just like the rest of the house – clutter everywhere!”
Another voice said . . .
“But geesh – we’re SOOO tired and there are soooo many other higher priorities.”
And then . . . .
The Still, Small Voice said . . . .
“What if you just put away those few pieces of jewelry there on the top? And maybe just threw away the little bits of trash that are up there? You could do that couldn’t you? Not really THAT much effort is it?”
Ahhhhhhh . . . . . .
I COULD do that!!! That was NOT too much to do!!
But it sure wasn’t on my agenda for the day AT ALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! I “should” be doing this, and that, and this and that . . . .and . . . . .
Oh . . . ok . . . just get back to this little tiny task right here . . . in THIS present moment . . .
Oh . . . yes . . . . OK . . . . .
Of course, in 2-3 minutes I could see the top of the furniture again which, of course, also perked up my outlook and suddenly I noticed I was feeling a bit brighter and had a teensy weensy bit more energy also!
So I decided to get dressed instead of going back to bed. Then the dog wanted to go out front so I took her outside and while she played and took care of HER business . . . I decided to do a bit more weeding of the flower bed, a project I began a week or two ago every time I take Lola out. I had pulled up quite a large stack of weeds by the time Lola was done – and again – suddenly noticed that lovely feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction kicking in — though – weeding had NOT been on my agenda EITHER this morning!
Then, a funny thing happened . . .
I realized . . . that my morning prayers, were being answered!
There I was simply going about the day as it NATURALLY progressed (without me pushing, shoving, resisting or forcing) and it was unfolding quite nicely indeed! I wasn’t struggling to choose whether I should do THIS or THAT . . . I just did what was next and before I consciously realized it, the girl who wanted to stay in under the covers – who had no energy – and who couldn’t figure out what to do – was now dressed, had already accomplished two tasks that lifted her spirits, was given the inspiration for THIS article to write (which became the next task btw) and the day is now off to quite a fine start!!!
Don’t you just love it?????
So next time you notice your internal board room having a . . . shall we say . . . “heated discussion” . . . STOP THE TAPE!
Ask the Universe to be the mediator!
Then go do the very next thing that comes into your mind – no matter how trivial or stupid or “off task” the critical mind part of you thinks it is!
No doubt you too may end up pulling up some “weeds” from your day and feeling pretty good about it!