November 17, 2010 by  
Filed under Divine Messages, Overcoming Fear, Practical Spirituality

OK . . .

So you are sitting in your home or office, you know there is “stuff” to be done and you don’t want to do it.  More than you don’t WANT to do it . . . you are scared to do it.  Maybe not scared to do the chores, but scared to do the “something” that will bring a little more light into your life, bring a little more joy, or  expand your beingness.

What the hell am I talking about you ask?

OK . . . here’s MY example.

I’m a business owner.  As much as I don’t want to be a business OWNER – I’d far rather just help others with my intuitive gifts and coaching, I AM a business OWNER and there are business OWNER-type things that need doing.

Like providing great content on my website.

And yes – there is divine right timing and inspired action and all that that comes into play – but this particular post – is about FEAR.  Paralyzing, I-am-NOT-going-to-take-that-next-action-step, FEAR.  Beyond logic, beyond reason, beyond all the “knowingness” I possess . . . overwhelming all of that (and yes because I am allowing it) . . . is FEAR – like a great big vat of molasses that I’ve fallen into and can’t find the ladder or a rope or a miracle way out.

So sometimes, (I hate to admit it out loud though) I allow the fear to take over my [business] life in subtle ways or not so subtle ways.  But mostly – I allow it to freeze me into IN-action . . . ME – the great coach – ME – the great teacher – ME the student of 30+ years of metaphysical teachings . . . ME . . . stuck in a vat of molasses.

What am I going to do about it?

I was listening to a Sunday Blessing presented by Glenda Green recently and  I heard (in my mind) . . . “picture this Dear One . . .”

Picture what?

They continued . . .  “Visualize your fear as if it was a lot of goopy stuff inside of you that can get sucked out by a Cosmic Wet Vac!” . . . (Yes . . . that’s what I heard . . . “they” have a sense of humor and speak to me in MY kind of language so that I “get” it!)

At the same time, I heard another voice in me telling me that the fear is only illusion so picturing it like goop is making an illusion real – and I understood that – but at that moment – my Highest Self was NOT in the driver’s seat and that thick goopy molasses like stuff WAS . . . so I went back and pictured the goopy stuff and tried to push it into the center of my imagination – picturing my kitchen – and all this goop in the center of my kitchen floor . . .

And then they said “We will turn on the wet vac now . . . your job is to make sure that YOU are willing to let go of all the goopy stuff . . . and open all the cupboards and closets and secret hiding places . . . so that WE can suck it all out for you . . . ”

And so . . . .

That’s what I did.

Mentally, I opened up all my closets, cupboards, drawers and lifted the skirt under the bed.  I opened the door to the attic, to the garage, to the storage boxes buried in the back of the closet …. And  I “allowed” the wet vac to suck up all the goop.

And then I heard  . . . “now go write . . . ”

Excuse me?  Go write?  Shouldn’t I just sit here and wallow a little more?  Shouldn’t I assimilate this experience?  Shouldn’t I distract myself with some chore or another?

And they said  . .  .”If what you fear most is “doing” then NOT doing is gonna make more goop isn’t it?  And didn’t you just ask us to wet vac that crap up?”

Uh .  . . . oops . . . . yes . . . . Yes, I did.

So here I am.

Writing this blog post.  Because in order for me to be of maximum service to YOU, my website needs content for you!  Content I was afraid to write because it would put me out there for you to judge.  And you might judge me harshly.  And then I’d crumble into a pile of dirt that needed to be swept away under the rug.

Now that is certainly “small me” thinking.  The Higher Self me knows better.  The Higher Self knows that all of us have gifts to share with each other and one of mine is my willingness to put my “stuff” out there because it might, maybe, help someone else.

Because I’m probably NOT the only human that is afraid to take the “next” step whatever that means for them.  Because I’m probably NOT the only human that has procrastinated because of Fear.  Because I’m probably NOT the only human that gets caught up in her “small” self . . .

Taking that next step even when we think we are stuck in molasses . . . that’s called “courage” in some circles.  It’s called “faith” in some circles.  It’s called “trust” in some circles.  And sometimes, sometimes we just have to get up off our asses and DO IT . . . that is IF we want what lies where that “next step” will take us.

So do me a favor will you please?

If this post has rung a bell for you will you please make a comment below?  Let me know whether it has helped you?  You know what . . . let me know even if you disagree  . . . . because  . . . by YOU taking the action to write YOUR comment . . . it may just help another human being . . . . and I know it will help me.

Thank you.


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November 10, 2010 by  
Filed under Divine Messages, General, Overcoming Fear

Dear One –

Relax, breathe and remember who you truly are! This is not a big deal to us – we do not need you to prove anything to us! Those [critical] voices are not of the Light child. Yes, that’s better – breathe in the Truth Dear One. Breathe in the Light of Truth. Allow that to refresh every cell, to refresh the space between the cells, to activate the Light of Truth within your DNA. Breathe in the Light Child. Breathe out all that is not who you really are.

Allow.  Simply allow.  Allow your magnificence to unfold.  It does not have to be a difficult road for you you know.  It is for some, but the biggest, most painful difficulties you create yourselves, in your resistance to go to that which is unavoidable for you [awakening fully]. While yes, of course, you have free will – you know your destiny Dear One because you agreed to it!   So some have painful experiences in their journeys as Lightworkers for many reasons – but what you fear will be “thrown at you” is unnecessary.  It is unnecessary for all of you – it is just each person’s resistance from their human side – and the release of the resistance is sometimes perceived as painful by fellow Lightworkers.

What we are trying to say and you are finding it a challenge to translate [in this message] is the degree of  “pain” or “drama” in becoming fully “aware” is equal to – NOT greater than – your own resistance. So you are creating your own pain Dear Ones. That is not of us of course. You may choose to “drop the rock” anytime you like Beloved.  We are here for you. We are here to help you fly.  We are here to boomerang back whatever energy you send our way.   So as you know all too well, as you feel fear, fear is what is mirrored back to you.   But equally true – as you feel joy, peace and love – it TOO is mirrored back to you!

All the while we are hoping you have had enough. Yes there is hope in this vibration and more importantly there is True Vision – because even while you are only able to see and feel your resistance and fear – we see well past that and we always see your True Light. This is on you Dear One! Let it [the fear and resistance] go and when you please allow yourself to once again feel the support we have for you and know always that we love you no matter what your ego may try to persuade you to the contrary.

And so it is.

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October 26, 2010 by  
Filed under Overcoming Fear

Yes, I know the simple answer would be ME of course!  But let’s go a little deeper.

I had an experience today where I thought it was me, the 56 year old spiritual coach, teacher, mom, friend, etc who was shopping in the rock store (looking for crystals that might help me sleep more soundly and consistently).

But when I looked at it a little closer, with the help of my fellow spiritual teacher and good friend, I realized that while the grown-up me was certainly present and had also made the choice on the stones and paid for them, there was another little girl part of me that was quite “thrown” by the whole experience.

The rock store had a lot of energy to it – for those of you who know about these things – you know what I mean . . . and for those that don’t . . . well  . . . everything has energy and certain rocks, stones, crystals have VERY strong vibrations which is why they are frequently used by healers.

What was interesting for me today was to recognize a familiar pattern – that being – that when my energy gets “overwhelmed” or “confused” . . . I “read” it as DANGER.

Yup.  I do.

And when my friend questioned me about that . . . I told her how as a child, my lawyer-through-and-through-father was VERY insistent that every response to every question or situation be logical.  He valued logic and discarded feelings so I was taught from my youngest memories to come up with logical responses to any question or situation and if I didn’t . . . there was usually a price to pay.

So as a child, how that affected me emotionally (among other ways) was that I would get scared if I encountered situations or questions that I couldn’t explain logically.  I would be scared of being punished – which I was regularly – sometimes In a rather draconian way and sometimes just a “normal” punishment – but almost always a punishment.

But I hadn’t identified, until today, the connection for me of “overwhelm” / “confusion” to “danger” and what that means is that for an awful lot of times over many years, I’ve been letting my inner child call the shots!

That’s OK of course – if I could have done better I would have done better but I couldn’t so I didn’t.  But here’s the really good news .  .  .

Now that I KNOW . . . I can definitely do “better” . . . .

And better for me will be to have more conscious awareness the next time I feel confused or overwhelm.  I can then remember that I am now a grown woman and no one is out there to punish me except for me! J  And hopefully I will choose NOT to continue THAT particular pattern of abuse!

So that’s the lesson in this post.

Next time you feel yourself reacting fearfully . . . see if you can catch yourself and ask yourself “how old am I emotionally right now?”  If you get an answer similar to mine . . . about being a child . . . then see if you can follow that through and ask what does that remind you of in your childhood.

Remember,  what you are looking for here isn’t to beat yourself up or your parents or whomever raised you.  What you are looking for is to take your power back and act from the powerful adult that you currently are, while having some compassion and understanding for that part of you.

As another dear friend frequently says . . . awareness precedes consciousness . . . so realize what a real gift it is to become aware of these previously hidden triggers and give yourself a big pat on the back for it!

Remember also – no emotions are all “bad” or “good” . . . . but recognizing what you are feeling and WHY can empower you to make a different choice next time.

And I’m all for having POWER and multiple choices! : )


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October 26, 2010 by  
Filed under General, Overcoming Fear

I’m sorry I’m too chicken to go take a picture of this guy hanging from the dining room ceiling as I write. I have NEVER been a fan of spiders or bugs but as I’ve gotten older and continued on my spiritual path, I can honestly say that I do look on them as another of God’s creatures and I do my best to honor their lives and their purpose here on the planet.


And I’ve already called the exterminator (who can’t come for 2 hours), and my ex-husband (who always handled spider duty during our marriage with his bare hands but now is afraid this one might be poisonous), and my handyman who is already 45 minutes on the other side of town half way up Mt. Charleston for the day.

I’m holding out for the pool man . . . who should be due here within the next hour or so. I wasn’t happy when he changed his route and made my house earlier on his schedule . . . and so he modified the route slightly so he gets here a bit later . . . and right now . . . I’m thinking . . . why the HELL did I EVER ask him to do THAT! Get over here and get over here NOW with your big pool skimmer net and get this beast out of my DINING ROOM NOW please!

OK . . . .

So . . . I’m breathing . . . and I’m remembering my power . . . great powerful creator and manifestor that I am . . . HOLY CRAP I MANIFESTED THE BIGGEST HAIRIEST SPIDER I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY HOUSE BEFORE!

OK . . ..

Back to breathing . . . I’m a powerful creator . . . I’m protected and adored by a loving Universe . . . . I’m safe . . . .


Breathing . . . . writing . . . . remembering my purpose . . . . remembering who I TRULY am (and that would NOT be a wimpy, overweight woman 10,000 times the size of the BIG FAT HAIRY SPIDER HANGING FROM MY DINING ROOM CEILING that wants to seal herself into her office until the BIG BAD SPIDER has been taken somewhere else to live that is NOT IN MY HOUSE!).

OK . . yes . . who I truly am . . . a Glorious Child of a Loving God . . . Whole, Perfect and Complete. With the power to choose the thoughts I think . . . the power to choose calming thoughts . . . . the power to make CONSCIOUS choices . . . . like BREATHING . . . and remaining grounded . . . and not going sssspuuuttter around the room like a blown up balloon that just got untied as it has one magnificent ride before it ends up in a heap on the ground.

In the last 18 months I’ve been through a separation, a divorce, the sale of a house, my Dad dying unexpectedly, some heavy (read “dysfunctional”) family “stuff”, the purchase of a new house, the renovation of a new house, major changes in my business, and countless other “opportunities for spiritual expansion” . . .. but . . . now . . . a BIG FAT HAIRY SPIDER HANGING FROM THE CORNER OF MY DINING ROOM threatens to undo my inner peace.


Really Steph?

Are you REALLY gonna let this guy get the better of you? After all that? After all the tears? After all the prayers? After a gazillion exercises in re-framing? After re-scripting countless memories? After countless hours on the phone with amazing supportive friends? After hours and hours in church services being gently (and not so gently) reminded of your Divinity? After even more hours of listening to CDs to clear your chakras, clear your mind, restore peace, learn new breathing techniques, meditate, received channeled messages?

Really Steph?



It’s JUST a Big Hairy Spider Hanging From My Dining Room Ceiling.

It does NOT have control over me.

I am the Master of my Domain.

I have dominion over my state of mind.

It IS a choice.
It IS a choice.
It IS IS IS IS a choice DAMMIT!

So guess what Big Hairy Spider?

You just hang there for a little while longer while I go ahead and continue with my day. Because I know I have an army of angels watching over me. I know I have my spirit guides to show me the way to joy and peace. I know that being afraid of you is only a story I tell myself and I can tell a different story.

I know that I can allow you to be a distraction or I can allow you to be an opportunity to remember, ONCE AGAIN, who I truly am.

To BE that Glorious Child of an Adoring Universe.

And you know what Big Fat Hairy Spider?

You have the right to be exactly who you are . . .

And . . .

I have the right to be me . . ..

And I do not have to give you my power.

Or my light . . . .


And guess who just pulled up out front? Yup! The pool guy, Kevin!


And now, 2 minutes later, spider has been deposited out into the side yard . . . hopefully to find a more suitable abode.

And me . . . .

Well . . . . I have to admit . . .

I’m breathing a bit easier . . . .

But I’m also pretty proud of myself . . . .

Because I WAS honestly and truly scared.

But I made it through it.

Again . . . .

And so will you . . .

when the next time comes that you cross paths with your version of a big fat hairy spider . . . .


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May 4, 2010 by  
Filed under Overcoming Fear

I was thinking recently about a project I needed  to complete some time ago and I really wanted to get it “right.”  I also wanted to get it done FAST because I realized I had been procrastinating. Too bad I didn’t also realize that it wasn’t the Voice of Love I was hearing in my head . . . I had unwittingly tuned my mind into Radio E G O (Edging God Out).

However, in an effort to get moving, I remembered a tip I had read from Laura West of The Center For Joyful Business – about getting out of the house when you are feeling stuck. Since I was aware part of the issue was not feeling very good about myself, I wanted to choose somewhere I could reconnect with my true Divine Spirit. So I headed to one of my fave places, the lobby bar of the Ritz-Carlton Lake Las Vegas with an Abraham CD playing in the car for the 25 minute ride.

It being early and mid-week I had my pick of tables and I chose one right by the window with a stellar view of the mountains, lake and gardens. I settled in and got to work.

Except for one thing.

The “work” part.

Not happening.

I fiddled with my new phone, checking Twitter to see if I had any tweets from my peeps. No tweets and no inspiration either. (SIDENOTE: you DO know about Twitter don’t you? If not check it out at and follow me – I’m @SpiritCoach.)

So I prayed. I asked for clarity, focus and direction for the Highest Good of All Concerned. I wrote a little but still no major flow was happening. I was grateful for the distraction when a new friend called.

Although we had never spoken on the phone before, we got along famously and an hour later, I was inspired, relaxed and finished the project easily and confidently. I thought GREAT – I’m done, I feel good, no worries, I’ll send it off as soon as I get home.


Somehow, I managed to continue distracting myself until I finally realized that once again, F E A R (False Evidence Appearing Real) had sneeked back in the door along with another too familiar acquaintance – Below The Basement Self-Esteem. Both were playing on the media player of my mind on a non-stop loop with the volume turned all the way up! AGAIN!

I went to sleep setting my intention to work through this and change my thoughts. During the night I woke up and realized I had just DREAMED I hit my first BIG business milestone. IN THE DREAM I remember thinking WOW — this is fantastic — and (still in the dream) thinking isn’t it ALSO INTERESTING how much better I feel about myself NOW (that I had achieved the “big” success). In that moment of recognition – I was able to RE-CONNECT CONSCIOUSLY with the FEELING of being proud and excited (which had been rather desperately eluding me).

At first — when I realized it was “only” a dream — I started to get bummed – until I realized — I HAVE already achieved the “big” milestone — it just hasn’t MANIFESTED in this time and space reality yet! Well THAT realization really helped change my emotional “charge” around the situation and I fell back asleep.

Unfortunately when I woke up, I still wasn’t feeling motivated enough to complete the damn project! So, in an effort to re-charge and re-new the successful feeling, I purposefully reviewed my files for encouraging words from the assortment of quotes/prayers I collect. I found the following from Neale Donald Walsch:


Now THAT — coupled with my memory of the dream — really gave me the courage I needed to get the project finished once and for all.

I went back and CAREFULLY re-read the instructional emails about the project and realized that I had read the emails through the eyes of fear. Now, through the eyes of Faith, I discovered that I had missed two key components in the instructions. One of them was an MP3 that COMPLETELY EXPLAINED the project and answered the many questions that I had running through my head! Not only THAT but the responses given were the same ones I had INSTINCTIVELY come up with ON MY OWN in my efforts to complete the task.

I decided to take that as a “God-sign” and a little while later that puppy was out the door and off my To-Do list!

The experience contained powerful lessons for me:

First – the fear had manifested in many ways – including my mistaken belief that I was “running out of time” or “on a tight deadline.” My mentor had not given me a deadline – it was all made up in my own mind. There is never any hurry in God’s time anway! If I had taken the time to CAREFULLY read the instructional emails – I would have realized there were TWO audios, listened to them in sequence and most likely saved myself a good deal of hassle!

Second – there is no such thing as getting it “right” or “losing” in the eyes of a loving God. As Neale Donald Walsch so elegantly stated: “. . . losing is not an act of God, it is a thought in the mind of humans.” WHAT I wrote for the project, wasn’t nearly as important as WRITING it period.

Third – and probably most critical for me and possibly for you as well – low self esteem is ALSO a man-made proposition. I believe we are all Glorious Children of a Loving Mother/Father God, that we were declared very precious and valuable at birth, and that He NEVER changes his mind!

And here’s the last little bit of irony for you – after rushing, struggling and generally making myself miserable about the project – when I finally emailed it off – I got an auto-response back stating that my mentor’s scheduling assistant was on vacation for 2 weeks and my mentor was away from the office as well for several days!

But now I’m fine with that. Now I know it’s all in Divine Order and Right Timing.

And ALL IS WELL indeed.


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