BIG HAIRY SPIDER

I’m sorry I’m too chicken to go take a picture of this guy hanging from the dining room ceiling as I write. I have NEVER been a fan of spiders or bugs but as I’ve gotten older and continued on my spiritual path, I can honestly say that I do look on them as another of God’s creatures and I do my best to honor their lives and their purpose here on the planet.

BUT THERE IS A BIG BLACK HAIRY SPIDER HANGING FROM MY DINING ROOM CEILING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

And I’ve already called the exterminator (who can’t come for 2 hours), and my ex-husband (who always handled spider duty during our marriage with his bare hands but now is afraid this one might be poisonous), and my handyman who is already 45 minutes on the other side of town half way up Mt. Charleston for the day.

I’m holding out for the pool man . . . who should be due here within the next hour or so. I wasn’t happy when he changed his route and made my house earlier on his schedule . . . and so he modified the route slightly so he gets here a bit later . . . and right now . . . I’m thinking . . . why the HELL did I EVER ask him to do THAT! Get over here and get over here NOW with your big pool skimmer net and get this beast out of my DINING ROOM NOW please!

OK . . . .

So . . . I’m breathing . . . and I’m remembering my power . . . great powerful creator and manifestor that I am . . . HOLY CRAP I MANIFESTED THE BIGGEST HAIRIEST SPIDER I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY HOUSE BEFORE!

OK . . ..

Back to breathing . . . I’m a powerful creator . . . I’m protected and adored by a loving Universe . . . . I’m safe . . . .

AS LONG AS HE STAYS IN THE CORNER OF MY DINING ROOM UNTIL SOMEONE COMES TO REMOVE HIM.

Breathing . . . . writing . . . . remembering my purpose . . . . remembering who I TRULY am (and that would NOT be a wimpy, overweight woman 10,000 times the size of the BIG FAT HAIRY SPIDER HANGING FROM MY DINING ROOM CEILING that wants to seal herself into her office until the BIG BAD SPIDER has been taken somewhere else to live that is NOT IN MY HOUSE!).

OK . . yes . . who I truly am . . . a Glorious Child of a Loving God . . . Whole, Perfect and Complete. With the power to choose the thoughts I think . . . the power to choose calming thoughts . . . . the power to make CONSCIOUS choices . . . . like BREATHING . . . and remaining grounded . . . and not going sssspuuuttter around the room like a blown up balloon that just got untied as it has one magnificent ride before it ends up in a heap on the ground.

In the last 18 months I’ve been through a separation, a divorce, the sale of a house, my Dad dying unexpectedly, some heavy (read “dysfunctional”) family “stuff”, the purchase of a new house, the renovation of a new house, major changes in my business, and countless other “opportunities for spiritual expansion” . . .. but . . . now . . . a BIG FAT HAIRY SPIDER HANGING FROM THE CORNER OF MY DINING ROOM threatens to undo my inner peace.

REALLY???

Really Steph?

Are you REALLY gonna let this guy get the better of you? After all that? After all the tears? After all the prayers? After a gazillion exercises in re-framing? After re-scripting countless memories? After countless hours on the phone with amazing supportive friends? After hours and hours in church services being gently (and not so gently) reminded of your Divinity? After even more hours of listening to CDs to clear your chakras, clear your mind, restore peace, learn new breathing techniques, meditate, received channeled messages?

Really Steph?

NO DAMMIT!

NO!

It’s JUST a Big Hairy Spider Hanging From My Dining Room Ceiling.

It does NOT have control over me.

I am the Master of my Domain.

I have dominion over my state of mind.

It IS a choice.
It IS a choice.
It IS IS IS IS a choice DAMMIT!

So guess what Big Hairy Spider?

You just hang there for a little while longer while I go ahead and continue with my day. Because I know I have an army of angels watching over me. I know I have my spirit guides to show me the way to joy and peace. I know that being afraid of you is only a story I tell myself and I can tell a different story.

I know that I can allow you to be a distraction or I can allow you to be an opportunity to remember, ONCE AGAIN, who I truly am.

To BE that Glorious Child of an Adoring Universe.

And you know what Big Fat Hairy Spider?

You have the right to be exactly who you are . . .

And . . .

I have the right to be me . . ..

And I do not have to give you my power.

Or my light . . . .

AND I’M NOT GOING TO!

And guess who just pulled up out front? Yup! The pool guy, Kevin!

YAY! THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED!

And now, 2 minutes later, spider has been deposited out into the side yard . . . hopefully to find a more suitable abode.

And me . . . .

Well . . . . I have to admit . . .

I’m breathing a bit easier . . . .

But I’m also pretty proud of myself . . . .

Because I WAS honestly and truly scared.

But I made it through it.

Again . . . .

And so will you . . .

when the next time comes that you cross paths with your version of a big fat hairy spider . . . .

Namaste.

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