WATCH OUT FOR THE WIZARD!

July 29, 2011 by  
Filed under Friday Funnies

 

Wizard’s Parking

This particular Wizard worked in a modern factory. He was happy about everything at work, except that some of his co-workers took advantage of his good nature, and would occasionally steal his parking spot.

This continued until the Wizard  put up the following  sign:

 

 

This parking space belongs to the Wizard!

Violators will be TOAD!

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LAST RITES (not really)

July 22, 2011 by  
Filed under Friday Funnies

A man lay dying and he began to yell out, “I need a priest, I need a priest!”

Another man came along and asked what was wrong.

The dying man said, “I need a priest to give me last rites, I’m dying.”

“There are no priests around here, but maybe I can help.” I’m not a religious person myself, but I have lived next to the Catholic Church my whole life and I hear their ritual all the time. I think that I can say it for you.”

The dying man said, “Thank You.”

So the helpful man leaned close to the dying man and in a soft voice repeated the ritual as he has heard it so many times:

“B-6, N-33, G-52, I-24,

... BINGO!!!!”

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RIDDLE ME THIS . . . : )

July 15, 2011 by  
Filed under Friday Funnies

Q:  How many animals can you fit into a pair of  pantyhose?

 

 

Now,  think about it…

 

 

Ready?

 

 

Scroll down, you’ll love this……….

 

ANSWER:

10 little piggies,

 

 

2 calves,

 

 

1 ass

 

 

and

an unknown number of hares!

 

 

Life  is too short to wake up with regrets.

“So love the people who treat you right.

Forget about the ones who don’t, cuz . . .

Life isn’t about how you survived the storm…

it’s about how you danced in the rain!

 

 

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HAPPY NOW

TODAY’S INNER POWER TIP:  Your “happy NOW” creates your happy future.  Become more conscious of what you are feeling in this NOW moment and adjust your vibration accordingly if necessary. This is a great gift you give yourself because not only will you feel better right now, but you will also be creating your better feeling future!

 

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NUTS TO YOU!

July 8, 2011 by  
Filed under Friday Funnies

A preacher went to visit an elderly woman from his church who had just had an operation. As he was sitting there talking with her, he noticed a bowl of peanuts on the stand next to the bed. He began to eat them, and soon it was time for him to leave.

When he got up he noticed he had eaten all of her peanuts.

“Sister Jones,”he said” I’m sorry I ate all of your peanuts.”

She replied “That’s okay pastor, I already sucked all of the chocolate off of them.”

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WRONG or HAPPY?

 

TODAY’S INNER POWER TIP: Right this second — are you thinking about what’s WRONG with your life, or being grateful for all the blessings – which btw, include that which you perceive is “wrong”?  There’s never a better time than NOW to make the choice that better creates your peaceful, prosperous and joy-filled future!

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FREEDOM

July 4, 2011 by  
Filed under Divine Messages, TODAY'S INNER POWER TIP

 

 

TODAY’S INNER POWER TIP: “Regardless of the country you live in, your ability to experience freedom is always available to you!  Freedom lives in your heart, not your head.  When you allow love to flow freely in, around and through you, true freedom then prevails.”   ~ Council of the Rainbow Light

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OH! God can handle THAT!

July 2, 2011 by  
Filed under AHA Moments

 

As last year was drawing to a close and I was meditating on the coming year — asking Spirit what was most important for me to focus on in the upcoming 12 months -  I clearly received the message that this was the time to move deeper into self-love on levels I had not been able to reach previously.

One cannot love ones self, (or any self for that matter) without giving up judgment and to do that, one (me) must learn how to re-train the mind.  The best mind-training for me (and a few million others) is  A Course In Miracles, which I have been studying off and on for over 25 years.

And so I was particularly delighted with the synchronicity of being led to this weekend’s live workshop on A Course In Miracles led by one of its master teachers, the always illuminating Marianne Williamson.

To put the following into context for those unfamiliar with the Course, the Course is channeled material and is based on a traditional Christian belief system — referring throughout to Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit.  That said, it is NOT a course in the christian RELIGION.  It does not force you, or even encourage you, to believe in the tenets of christianity.  However, it does use common christian terms in its teaching.

Here are my take-aways from last night’s opening session:

  • Love is to fear, as Light is to darkness
  • Thinking without love is an hallucination — only Love can create
  • A definition of ego according to ACIM is . . . a fearful thought
  • The ego is a choice for guilt
  • The Holy Spirit = the Atonement
  • We (humans) think we are a sunbeam that can be separate from other sunbeams, but in Truth, of course, we are one with the Sun
  • We (humans) also think we are a wave in the sea, that can be separate from all the other waves.  The Truth is we are one with the ocean.
  • I deflect miracles when I hold attack thoughts (aka judgments) about ANY one, including myself.
  • “Do not try to purify yourself (clear the attack thoughts) before coming to me (The Holy Spirit) first, for I (The Holy Spirit) am the purifier.”
  • Every thought is either a path to hell or a path to heaven.  (Love = Heaven, fear = hell)
  • “That which you place on the altar (of Love) is thereby altered.”
  • Dear God — I am willing to see this differently.  I could choose peace instead of this (chaos).  Please help me!

The Course states in its introduction, that there is “no order of difficulty in miracles.” The Course also teaches that a miracle is simply a change in perception — from fear (attack/judgment) to love.

And so Marianne reminded us, that we will make our lives much more peaceful when we remember that there is one who can – and will – always assist us with our problems (judgments, fears, etc.).  That “one” is God (in whatever word/s you prefer).

And so my Number One takeaway from last night is to say (and DO) often:

  • “OH! God can handle THAT!”

 

And so it is.

And so it shall be.

Thank you God.

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YOUR 4th of JULY FUNNIES

July 1, 2011 by  
Filed under Friday Funnies

What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!

Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!

Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
To get to the other tide!

What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
Yankee Poodle!

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!

Teacher: “Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?”
Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.”

What did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting!

What’s red, white, blue, and green?
A patriotic pickle!

What did the visitor say as he left the Statue of Liberty?
Keep in torch!”

What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of ’76!

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty!

What dance was very popular in 1776?
Indepen-dance!

Teacher: “Who wrote `Oh say, can you see?”‘
Student: “An eye doctor?”

How is a healthy person like the United States?
They both have good constitutions!

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